Perfect…just as I am

Smiley Flower Happy!

I’ve always had high standards (for EVERYTHING) and as time passes I’m realizing what an impossibly high standard I have held myself to for much of my life.

This week a project required me to systematically go through my sent mail over the last year. A tedious task to be sure, but it gave me an unexpected overview.

I’ll come straight out with it. Fact is, I’m a recovering perfectionist. For as long as I can remember, I have been the kind of gal where if I can’t do something exceptionally well, I don’t want to do it at all. This mindset has conflicted with a lot of action I must take in life–especially as a new business owner. Starting anything requires being a beginner, trial and error, failure and risk. You get the picture.

So often the chatter in my head especially in relation to my business growth (though it’s similar with my personal growth as well) has to do with how long it’s taking for me to get to where I want to be, how far away I am from my ultimate goals and how long it will take me to get there. And, if that isn’t enough, I beat myself up when I’m not performing according to my impossibly high standards or when I’m not being as perfect as I would like.

I’ve recently acquired some awareness around the need for self-compassion and am incorporating self-compassion and self-love into my life on a daily basis. This comes with unexpectedly joyful side effects. Such as…when I was going through that year’s worth of sent mail, I felt a profound sense of admiration for how far I’ve come and how much I’ve actually accomplished my first year in business.

I know so much more now than I did a year ago. I’ve grown an enormous amount as a person over the span of a year. I have had incredibly varied experiences, some enjoyable, others painful. I have succeeded at some things and failed at others. I have interacted with boatloads of amazing people with whom I feel privileged to have crossed paths.

As I was reflecting on this, a realization washed over me that I am in the perfect place. And that perfect place is right now. I’m right where I’m meant to be, doing what I’m meant to do, learning what I’m meant to learn, experiencing what I’m meant to experience, enjoying what I’m meant to enjoy, screwing up what I’m meant to screw up and succeeding where I’m meant to succeed. Everything is just perfect. I am perfect just as I am. Right where I am.

In fact, all of this has been perfect all along…it’s me who didn’t see it because I was so wrapped up trying to get “where I want to be” and trying to be so perfect. This experience reminded me of the song “Perfect” by Pink. I find it amusing that when I heard this song before, I always thought how nice it would be to have someone feel this way about me. Until today, I don’t think I’ve ever been able to truly think of myself in those terms, and now I can. Now that’s progress!

How about you? What is your experience with being perfect? I would love to hear from you. Leave a comment.

Click here to listen to Perfect by Pink

Click here for a youtube version

Lyrics:

Made a wrong turn, Once or twice
Dug my way out, Blood and fire
Bad decisions, That’s alright
Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss “No way, it’s all good”,

It didn’t slow me down
Mistaken. Always second guessing
Underestimated. Look, I’m still around

Pretty, pretty please
Don’t you ever, ever feel
Like you’re less than, less than perfect.
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like you’re nothing
You are perfect to me.

You’re so mean,
When you talk about yourself. You were wrong.
Change the voices in your head
Make them like you instead.

So complicated,
Look happy, you’ll make it!
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game.
It’s enough, I’ve done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I’ve seen you do the same.

Oh, pretty, pretty please
Don’t you ever, ever feel
Like you’re less than, less than perfect.
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like you’re nothing
You are perfect to me.

The whole world’s scared so I swallow the fear,
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer. So cool in line and we try, try, try,
But we try too hard, it’s a waste of my time.
Done looking for the critics, ‘cause they’re everywhere
They don’t like my jeans, they don’t get my hair
We change ourselves and we do it all the time

Why do we do that? Why do I do that?
(Why do I do that?)

Pretty, pretty please
Don’t you ever, ever feel
Like you’re less than, less than perfect.
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like you’re nothing
You are perfect to me.

You’re perfect, you’re perfect to me
Pretty, pretty please
Don’t you ever, ever feel
Like you’re nothing
You are perfect to me

Comments: 2

  1. Nathalie September 7, 2013 at 5:49 am Reply

    Great post! I can totally relate. Perfectionism is something that has plagued me over the years. I guess we are the “overachiever” type. There is a gift in that, it allows us to accomplish a lot and a lot of great things. And also, it can be trap. I, too, have had to learn to take “imperfect action” and to build the plane as I fly it. It’s a great exercise. Ultimately, it’s all about sharing our gifts and reaching as many people as we can with them. I am happy to say that it’s now happening. It’s not perfect, but it’s happening. And ultimately…it’s all that matters. Keep up the great work!

  2. Anaik September 16, 2013 at 1:25 pm Reply

    Great post and so perfect for me right now. I experience that tension between looking ahead at all I want to accomplish in my long-term dreams, versus taking moments to look back and be grateful for how far I’ve come in progressing on those dreams. It’s difficult when most of the progress is under the surface…so I love the concepts of self-compassion and self-love.

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